just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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