so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
