So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
