So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
