I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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