just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize