So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Randomize
