How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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