Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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