you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
