....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He shit in the fireplace
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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