She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I wear drunk well.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize