You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
should my penis look like a turkey
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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