Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
