I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
