I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
