I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
