Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize