do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He passed out mid-signature
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
sex in a hospital.. check
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
