You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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