He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i think im in europe. pls send help
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