this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
