too bad you live with your parents still
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
