I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
