Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
