Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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