why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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