dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
