do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
