office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize