and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize