so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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