What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I understand Curling. That high.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
