another moral hangover. fuck.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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