Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
