What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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