mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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