lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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