I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Couch. On fire.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
