I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
