left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
