ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
