I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
