I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
