Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
