Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
