guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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