Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
