just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
