i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He felt like a one man threesome
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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