is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
