3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize