My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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