we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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