i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
