Define "chronic" masturbator.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
