yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize